These resources are for everyone… but some may be especially interesting for men, and those who care about them.
Men’s Issues
Why Boys & Men are Falling Behind, and What to Do About It (podcast vid)
Andrew Yang interviews Richard Reeves on: the false choice in the gender equality discussion, how to get more men in HEAL jobs, redshirting boys, and defining a positive masculinity. (Forward with Andrew Yang – Oct 2022)
The Tin Men (instagram account)
Well-researched, positive, nuanced… visuals and info about men (and also positive to women).
The Centre For Male Psychology (textbooks, online learning, & more)
There is a growing need for males to become psychologists (and teachers and nurses); and a need for all psychologists (and maybe all people in general) to be more familiar with male psychology.
1in6.org
At least 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused or assaulted. (And contrary to popular beliefs, most perpetrators are females… see this piece, and this one, for all kinds of fascinating nuances on this topic, from Dr. Lara Stemple.)
Developing (& Appreciating) Masculinity
Can’t Hurt Me (book)
For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare — poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a U.S. Armed Forces icon and one of the world’s top endurance athletes.
[Goggins’ follow-up Never Finished is possibly even better]
Male Heroism (highly recommended * article)
by Rob Henderson
“Men are a mixed bag. Relative to women, men are more likely to commit reprehensible acts such as mass public shootings. However, men are also more likely to use their bodies as shields to protect their loved ones in the midst of such a horrific tragedy. Evolution and mate choice has led to despicable, as well as heroic, male behavior.
At the 2012 Aurora shooting there was one case of villainy and three cases of heroism. Broadly speaking, there are more good men than bad men. But, at least for now, our society concentrates on one and neglects the other. “
Parkour and Rough Play (podcast vid)
Jordan Peterson and parkour expert Rafe Kelley discuss the importance of rough-and-tumble play for developing children, how a lifestyle centered around movement can expand our grasp and involvement with the natural world, and why society should value masculine activities, rather than adhering to the push for feminization in all aspects of modern life. (Jordan Peterson Podcast episode 343)
(^ related organization: “Treating [kids] as physically and emotionally fragile is bad for their future — and ours. Let Grow is making it easy, normal and legal to give kids the independence they need to grow into capable, confident, and happy adults.”)
Why Men Seek Danger (podcast)
Sebastian Junger on the Honestly podcast: Men seek and need danger. have a deep desire to prove their valor. They find community and meaning in crisis. And yet, much of the Western world lives without any kind of high-stakes, high-risk danger at all. It is, of course, a great blessing we don’t live in constant crisis. But our comfort, safety and affluence, he argues, come with unexamined costs.
Fighting
How To Win a Street Fight (article)
by Ed Latimore
(short, important article – read it slowly; read it three times.)
Verbal Jiu Jitsu (vid – 2 min)
by Sifu Tim Tackett
(useful ideas – but also be wary of anything that may extend an interaction with someone, who you do not want to interact with, or which such a person may take the wrong way)
Sex & Gender
How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners (podcast vid)
Sex differences 101.
Super helpful to understand for basic life navigation.
Dr. David Buss – founder of the field of evolutionary psychology! – on the Huberman Lab podcast.
The Way of the Superior Man (book)
by David Deida
Gender differences 101.
Super helpful to understand for basic life navigation.
This book is about the polarity between masculine and feminine.
We all have both masculinity AND femininity in us… but most have at our biological core, one or the other. (Of course – culture also plays a role in shaping these aspects of ourselves.)
Most males have a masculine core, and most females have a feminine core. (And we are often most attracted to the opposite pole.) But there is also beautiful variation.
(PS… other great polarity instructors include… John Wineland; Lorin Krenn; and Madelyn Moon.)
Culture and Gender in Primates (podcast vid)
Primates are our closest relatives, and they exhibit a wide variety of behaviors that we can easily recognize. Frans de Waal is a leading primatologist and ethologist who has long studied cognition and collective behaviors in chimps, bonobos, and other species. His work has established the presence of politics, morality, and empathy in primates. (Mindscape podcast 194)
The Case Against the Sexual Revolution (podcast vid)
More on sex differences, etc —
Jordan Peterson and Louise Perry discuss the current state of feminism, the corruption of porn, the gray areas of consent, and the failure of the sexual revolution. (This podcast brings up valid points that are largely missing from the wider conversation. I do believe there are other valid perspectives as well.)
Dating
Short, Ugly, Poor, Old and STILL Successful (vid – 18 min)
by The Power Moves
“Dating has some general rules… And countless exceptions to those rules.
But not everyone understands the dynamics of rules and exceptions.
Some get lost in the ‘rule’, as if there were no exceptions at all, and turn hopeless. While others get lost in the ‘randomness’ and subjectivity of the exceptions, as if there were no rules at all.”
Why Men Today Struggle with Women (vid – 1 min)
by Jordan Peterson, on The Roommates podcast
So You Want to be an Alpha Male? (instagram post)
Thoughts from primatologist Dr Frans de Waal, edited by @thetinmen.
The Myth of the Alpha Male (article)
by Scott Barry Kaufman
for Greater Good Science Center, University of California-Berkeley
“It’s time we shed these black and white categories, and embrace a much more multidimensional concept of masculinity. The most attractive male [for both short-term affairs and long-term relationships] is really a blend of characteristics, including assertiveness, kindness, cultivated skills, and a genuine sense of value in this world.”
How to Make Sexual Consent Sexy (podcast)
Amanda Ripley’s How-To podcast is great in general.
On this episode: Jamila Dawson and August McLaughlin on how to have a sex life that is honest, healthy and more fun.
Starting a Men’s Group
Men’s Group Field Guide
This is wonderful, except that some of the resources need slight tweaking to be more inclusive. “Everything you need to start & sustain a successful mens group… It’s not the only way to run a Men’s Group, but it’s what has worked for us, and we want to share it freely with other men who have an interest but don’t know where or how to start.”
Men’s Group Leadership
A second (also great; also free) guide for running or partaking in a men’s group.
Talk Club
Simple version of above formats. Men simply sit in a private space, to talk and listen; or “If it’s a Talk & Run club or Talk & Golf [etc] sharing will happen at different points throughout the activity.”
“We start with how each man feels out of 10 and share why.
We then talk about what we are grateful for and what we are going
to do for our mental fitness this week. It’s a beautifully simple medicine…“
A Circle of Men
I have not yet read this book, but it seems to be a go-to resource.
Thoughts on Porn, etc
(Not everyone is significantly negatively impacted by porn? The ideas and related studies below show negative potentials. — I believe every man should take at least 90 days off of porn, to see if there are positive differences that result.)
+ Potential cons of Porn 1 – https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ – TEDx talk; Research tab
+ Potential cons of Porn 2 – https://fightthenewdrug.org/ – browse around; good podcast Consider Before Consuming featuring guests such as Terry Crews, sex therapists, ex-porn stars, etc.
+ For a little balance, here is a little blurb which shows: SOMEtimes (not always), potential cons of porn are overstated… and that there can sometimes also be pros.
+ Community of people avoiding porn: https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/ – warning – this is a large community, some stray people are trolls or exaggerate
+ Community of people avoiding porn AND masturbation (in my opinion, masturbation is healthy when done with a good mindset; minimizing masturbation can also be healthy when done with a good mindset): https://reddit.com/r/nofap – warning – this is a gigantic community, some stray people are trolls or exaggerate
+ Super specific: On the health of not masturbating/ejaculating for extended periods — Studies tend to show that frequent ejaculation is correlated with lower risk of prostate issues later in life [if true, that may not be good for non-masturbators]; however, this study separated ejaculation via masturbation vs ejaculation via sex… and found that prostate benefits are correlated specifically with sex, NOT masturbation:
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2009.01677.x/full
FYI, acronyms in the article: PVI – penile vaginal intercourse; FSI – frequency of sexual intercourse. (Ctrl+F → “prostate cancer”)
[…take this with a grain of salt, I am not an expert in this area… but do find this particular study to be very unknown to people discussing this super specific topic.]